New Life

 

Well well well.. Where to begin?! It's almost an entire year since my last post. So much has happened and I'm kind of annoyed at myself for not keeping on top of my blog more. I know I'm going to have forgotten some of the details of all my big news. Alas, I do have an excuse though! Rather a cuddly and lovely excuse. A baby! 

In October 2013 I fell pregnant with a miracle. I managed to conceive following a recent bout of pneumonia so it's quite bizarre that my body decided to achieve such a feet. We were incredibly shocked at the short time scale in which I fell pregnant. And I honestly thought the pregnancy test was telling lies! In fact it didn't really sink in that I was 'with child' until we saw his heart beat at an early scan at 7 weeks. I spent the entire first 12 weeks convinced I wouldn't make it to the 12 weeks mark, just waiting (and dreading) something awful happening. It all seemed too good to be true. But as the weeks went on, and the horrendous morning sickness passed, my bump grew and it all became more real. I woke up every morning and looked down at my bump to check it was still there, and that I hadn't just been having a very long dream. 

We had the odd hiccup along the way (both metaphorical and literal - baby had hiccups  every hour from about 20 weeks!!). But all of them were overcome and the doctors and nurses were fantastic. So reassuring and I had an amazing team around me. 

We joined an NCT (antenatal) class with couples who were due around the same time as us. The course itself was ridiculous and such a waste of time. Believe it or not some expectant parents need to be told that babies need bathing and feeding - go figure!! But it was fab for meeting people and we have quite a nice little circle of friends in the same boat as us. It's proved really helpful as we can all bounce off each other now we have little people who cause us lots of worry. 

Our baby was due to arrive on the 1st of July. But because I had to have an elective caesarean, he was delivered slightly earlier at 38 weeks and 2 days. Louis Anthony Ernest King was born to the sound of Adele's "Someone like you" at 15:01 on the 19th June 2014. And I might be biased but he was, and still is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  Everyone tells you about the flood of emotions you feel and the instant love that fills you when you hold your baby for the first time.... All I can say is it's true but those words don't do the feeling justice. It's more than words are capable of expressing. Sean and I  were just overwhelmed. That bond is what got me through the first few agonising days following my c- section. Granted I did spend the majority of those days in a opiate induced haze from the morphine I was given.... But still... my desire to nurture and protect this little life would have got me through anything. 

To cut a rather long and wonderful story short, we now have an 10 week and 6 day old baby boy. He is developing in leaps and bounds and the smile he has is heart melting.  

Our last weigh in and 8 week check showed he was following his growth line perfectly. He was a healthy 10Ib 8 ounces. Tomorrow's the next big weigh in. I suspect he's probably over the 12 pound mark now. He's certainly filling out. 

Sean and I also got engaged in December 2013, on the Southbank under the Christmas lights (all very romantic and a separate blog is required for that story). So we are hoping to get married in the summer of 2016. Having a baby is rather a costly exercise so we may have to wait a while to have the wedding we want. But we'll get there. 

So we're all doing wonderfully and couldn't be happier. I've honestly never been as tired as I am now, but I've also never been as happy! I've had the family I could only dream of a year or so back. I'll never forget what a blessing it all is. 

An unexpected drama at the Neuro physio appointment

Since the Olympics ended things have gone downhill. I'm really glad things didn't go wrong until after the games, I'd have been really upset to have missed any of the action.

As I have talked about in my previous blogs, I walk with crutches as I have hip and back problems. I suffer from chronic pain in both but last week my back pain became much worse. It seemed to gradually increase over about 3 days. I was up all night walking around and was really fidgety as I was trying to get it to a level where the pain was manageable. I had neuro-physio coming up on the Tuesday and that day couldn't come quick enough in my mind because my physio has a knack of reducing my pain by using pressure points to release muscle spasm. Unfortunately when I arrived I was in absolute agony and no matter what she tried it just didn't seem to help at all. In fact, I think it made it worse. I could feel my eyes watering and at one point I was silently crying because I really didn't want her to see me being such an idiot about it all. When she finally finished, she asked me to sit up, which didn't come easily. Unfortunately as I sat up, I projectile vomited everywhere. Thankfully she managed to move out of the way just in time and spared herself. After that I just sat there swaying with my eyes closed feeling really faint. I must have looked like a right numpty!! I told her I needed to lay down as I felt so bad. She called the doctor over from the other wing to take a look and they checked everything. I had really low blood pressure and my oxygen levels weren't great. I think the stress of the pain was causing all this. Any who at some point during all this I did actually pass out, and woke up to find an ambulance crew stood next to me. I really didn't want to go in  but they weren't giving me any option, and with that much pain it didn't look like I had a choice, it wasn't like I could walk out of there. They took me to one of the local hospitals.

I was seen really quickly at the hospital and given some painkillers to try and ease the pain before they examined me. I never understand why they always try and give paracetamol  (the weakest painkiller in a pharmacy), to a patient in severe pain!?! As was expected, paracetamol did sweet F A, so they gave me some oramorph aswell. This didn't help either, as I use this at home intermittently for the pain and I have a certain tolerance to the low doses which means I don't really get a lot of relief from it. Eventually he offered me some IV morphine but as  good as this is as a painkiller, I knew he would never get an IV in me. I always go through the same battle with them time and time again. But I did have to eat my words when he got one in first time, albeit in my little finger! I couldn't knock the fella, he did a good job there. Perhaps my veins have had a chance to heal during the period I've been well.

The doctors at the hospital were concerned about a fracture of one of my thoracic vertebrae. Mainly because I have some degree of weakening in the bones due to steroid dependency for the last 15 years (for my lungs). I had a thoracic x ray and it was clear of a fracture but the x ray managed to incorporate the first 3 lumbar vertebrae as well and the doctor told me he could see that there was literally no space between them, they were sitting one on top of the other. As you can imagine bone rubbing on bone can be incredibly painful. I didn't want to stay in the hospital as I had an appointment with my own doctor/GP that evening and my physiotherapist had had a long discussion with her about putting me on a new medication called Gabapentin which is a drug that directly targets nerve pain. This seemed like a good option as the analgesics I've been on until now have a wide variety of uses and so don't necessarily act on the areas where I need them to. The doctor wanted me to stay as the analgesics weren't totally relieving my pain, but I figured that I'd only be stuck in there for days on end, being given loads of opiates, only to leave for home with no better idea of what was going on than when I came in. As it was, by the time we left I was too drained and in pain to get to the GP anyway. So Sean called them and explained the situation and asked if we could pick up the aforementioned new drug prescription so that I would be able to have some relief that night. They agreed but we needed to wait to hear back from the doc that night as he wanted to talk to me. But,  low and behold..... he never called back so I was left with NO pain relief that night. I was so angry and so upset. I was in agony and this just wasn't fair.  Thankfully the next day I was able to see my own doctor who gave me a script for the garbapentin and also played around with the dosages of my other medications, adding in tramadol as well. This has really helped over the past few days and I have finally managed to get some sleep.

The physio visited my house a couple of days later to see how I was doing. I was using my oxygen a lot as the pain killers were affecting my breathing. But without them I would have been climbing the walls so it was a necessary evil really. She was a bit concerned to see me laid up in the bed, still in pain and quite knocked off by the medication. She decided not to do any physio work that day as I was still in a fragile state and she didn't want to risk aggravating the injury. She consulted with the GP and together they decided they want me to have an urgent MRI on my entire spine and have referred me to see a neuro surgeon at a clinic in Dorking. They think my symptoms match with a slipped disc which may or may not need surgery (if that's what it is found to be). This has worried me as it seems pretty serious stuff but I am glad that they have been proactive in trying to find a cause for this as throwing drugs at it and treating it conservatively (as has been a habit in the past) is really not a solution.

I'd really like to start a family at some stage and so having long term issues with my spine and hips is a big worry for me. I am worried the pressure on my spine and hips as the baby grows will be majorly problematic for me and the  baby. I don't want the pregnancy to be one where I am laid up for 6 months of it in pain. That wouldn't be good for the baby. I asked the physio about this today. I know its not a pressing issue for right now but it was just something that was nagging me and I wanted to ask her about it so as I knew what to expect in the future. She really put my mind at ease as she said both her and her sister have had this injury and they were both able to bare 3 children each. She said that they actually found their back problems improved during pregnancy (who'd have though that!?!) as the muscles around the back relaxed to accommodate the babies growth. Apparently it's a common occurrence. So thats one less thing to worry about anyway. I'm waiting to hear when my appointment for the MRI and Neuro surgeon is. I'll no doubt blog about it more when I have them - should be happening in the next two weeks. 

Transplant Week, Businesses and Psychic Mediums

It's been great this Transplant Week to see so many people promoting the cause. On facebook loads of people have been changing their profile pictures to show the poster and logo which is great. I've been sending some links around and doing my bit too. Though I would always like to do more. It's just difficult to know where to start and the issue of Transplant is a very grey area. Of course some religions are aposed to it and lots of people are aposed for completely personal reasons (the thought of 'not dying whole' or 'without ones eyes' being seen as the soul by many). It therefore can be difficult to find a line between gently encouraging people to consider signing the register and seeming pushy by relentlessly tweeting and facebooking about it. It's such a personal choice and evokes a lot of emotion  - tricky stuff.

What's been being posted in aid of Transplant week :)

I was really excited to see my friend Tor Tremlett appaearing on Lorraine Kelly's breakfast show this morning. She was dead nervous but she did so well. You would never have been able to tell how scared she was. She was looking so well, great to see the change from where she was last year. In fact if it weren't for Tor's generous donor I would most likely never have been able to speak to her as we only got to speaking post transplant. Well done Tor, great work - keep it up :)

 

As for me, it's all been pretty good going for a couple of weeks. I've been a busy bee as myself and my partner are in the midst of setting up a business at the moment. This is something I would never have been brave enough to do on my own. It's all very exciting and the website will be coming soon so I will direct my readers to it for a cheeky butchers when its launched :P. We plan to sell products for cake decoration so we have been onto to stockists and all sorts. So much to sort out. We are slowly but surely getting there though. 

On a spooky note, I was at a wedding the other day.. and who was I sat next to at dinner?? A 'psychic medium'. Usually I'm sceptical to say the least and not sure whether to believe it or think it's all a load of rubbish, preying on people who are in a vulnerable emotional state etc. But... I may have been convinced!! She introduced herself and we were just chatting casually. I felt like I'd known this woman my whole life, like she was my best friend. Something I can't describe. She turned to me (whilst I had a mouthful of chicken roulade :S) and just said something that really freaked me out. She told me 'not to worry' that I would 'have another couple of really rough years but then things would seem a lot different'. And that she had 'seen my first born so I could stop worrying about whether my health would stop me having kids'. How did this woman know this!?!? She didn't know I had health problems or that I had these worries, she'd never met me before. And I had never told anyone that before. Weird. There was loads of stuff she said and I literally open mouthed, jaw on the floor shocked at how accurate this woman was. It made me feel all warm inside, like there is hope after all. I know loads of people would think I was nuts for believing it but if you knew some of the other stuff this lady told me you would also be stunned. Fingers x'd she's right.. 2 more years to go... then its all plain sailing.