Well as predicted I didn't last much longer than my last blog before the inevitable happened. My boyfriend was keen to get me into hospital so that they could check what was causing my breathing problems. I tried to argue that I was fine for some time but I wasn't going to win that fight, and in the end I relented. I managed to get to the hospital easily enough using my oxygen in the car. It was the short (20 or so step) walk from the car park to the emergency department that really caused things to deteriorate. I sometimes under estimate how ill I am and forget that the little things that I usually take for granted such as walking to the bathroom or simply brushing my teeth can be absolutely exhausting.
Once we arrived there was a huge queue to clerk in at A and E. I had to tell Sean that I couldn't wait and he needed to tell the clerk right away that I needed help. This got me a lot of angry looks from other patients but I was too sick to care. The clerk said she'd call someone and whilst we waited for what seemed like an eternity, I could feel myself getting more and more breathless. Sean was holding my head up and kept reminded me to breathe. Finally two emergency doctors came out. I am told they saw how blue and poorly I was and so one of them and Sean carried me in. I don't remember any of this. Apparently they were ready to move another patient onto the bed in the resuss room but when they came in with me, there was a mass panic. I am so glad sometimes that I don't remember these things.
The doctors had to breathe for me with a bag and struggled to get an IV in to give me adrenalin to keep my heart going. Unfortunately after years of repeated hospital admissions I have little to no accessible veins now. Usually this would mean I end up with a central line but this time I woke to find they were using a drill to bevel into my tibia and through to my bone marrow to draw blood and give medication directly into the bone. This is a last resort, usually used in babies and is only used in resuscitation situations (intraosseous infusion). I don't remember much but remember being awoken by an indescribable pain. It wasn't like anything I could have imagined, like something I wouldn't think it possible to feel. I had 8 doctors hold me down whilst I screamed.
My PCO2 was really high which means I was dangerously ill, I was retaining carbon dioxide as my lungs weren't letting me get rid of it. This is what made me so blue and ill.
I waited a long time to speak to doctor as once they had stabilised me they went onto other cases. This left me quite distressed as such a big thing had just happened to me and there was no one to reassure me or even explain what was happening.
I had a further turn for the worse whilst I was on the ward. My lungs got really constricted and I had to be given IV meds and high levels of oxygen, nebs and lots of help from the ITU team. I was adamant I didn't want to go up there as they aren't the nicest team of people. I put this down to them dealing with unconscious people all day who aren't able to answer back.
I think I have officially terrified the new partner I'm with. As my dad says, 'now he's been through the 'Gemma initiation', it can only get better from here'. So I hope that's right and that's the worst he'll see, at least for a while.
No comments:
Post a Comment